Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize