Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
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Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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