I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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