ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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