Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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