i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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