The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize