forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
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By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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