as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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