she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize