my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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