I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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