im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize