I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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