Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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