DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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