im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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