is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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