so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize