he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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