I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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