I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
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I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
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But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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