Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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