so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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