We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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