Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize