Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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