I CAN MOONWALK!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize