He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize