That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize