Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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