Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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