It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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