Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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