Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
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I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
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And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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