Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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