pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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