I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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