he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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