I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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