I want to stick my p in your. b.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize