Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize