you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize