I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize