Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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