i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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