She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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