You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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