I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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