yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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