and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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